Age: 11 Years

Developmental Milestones

• Brain Development: They will speak with confidence but may use certain slang words and swearing to fit in. They can think of problems outside the box and can reason out problems. Children can manage themselves more. This is also a time when kids are going through a lot of changes. They are becoming teens, their bodies are changing, and for most kids, they’ll be attending a new school. For some kids, these changes may be a new challenge to face, so make sure to support them. 

• Physical:  This time will see the effects of their approaching teenhood, and you’ll begin to see changes in their body. Girls may begin to approach puberty at this age: Some of the body changes include growing taller and developing a more mature body shape. They may get more body fat, bigger breasts, wider hips, underarm hair, and more body changes. Boys start later after about 2-3 years. Early puberty changes can also include larger muscles, changes in their voices, and more hair growth along with other changes in the body. Review our puberty resources to see what other changes happen during puberty. [Article]

Social-Emotional Milestone 

Their social group may begin to change, and you will find them wanting to spend more time with friends. To children, they want to fit in and be accepted by their friends. The effects and reality of peer pressure and cliques are topics you need to cover with your tweens. At this age, they might be less likely to talk to you about their problems. Sometimes, their struggle with needing independence may result in rudeness or bad attitude. Puberty and their changing body may cause them to have lower confidence and self esteems. It’ll be hard to control their temper, so you may see more anger and rebellion. Make sure that you communicate. Even when they’re angry, they can understand the point of view of others. 

Life Skills: Peer Pressure and Cliques

First, we should find out what cliques are. Cliques are a group of friends, but unlike groups with healthy relationships, these groups purposely make others feel left out. They can act mean or totally ignore other kids that don’t fit in with their group. There is usually a popular kid or two who controls the overall clique and the actions of their members. Kids may be rejected by the group if they are a newcomer or if they look, act, or dress differently. During middle school, most kids want to belong and be liked. A lot of middle-schoolers may feel alone and will fear not belonging in a group. Some kids may be peer pressured into acting differently just to fit in. Peer pressure is defined as doing the same thing that other people do, most often those of the same age and those that belong in social groups, so one can be liked and respected. Peer Pressure can be both good and bad. Good peer pressure will encourage your child to try new sports, work harder in school, or think about going to college. Unhealthy peer pressure will force your child to do something that they would not do themselves. These could be harmless actions such as asking for expensive clothes just to fit in. But they can also be more harmful such as bullying. In our tool kit list are some tips that can help your child navigate through the complexity of school cliques. These actions include helping them find friends during lunch, helping them stand up for themselves, and helping your child build healthy relationships outside of school. Check out our other resources on cliques and peer pressure that may help you in your journey. [Article]

Action Items

•  Answer questions honestly, especially about body changes.

• Acknowledge the things they’ve accomplished. 

• Make sure to stay calm whenever they throw tantrums or their moodiness. Give them time, space, and privacy. 

• Know your children’s kids and who she hangs out with. 

• Kids will have more active sweat glands, so make sure to remind your kids of their hygiene skills, such as regular bathing and using deodorant daily. 

• Address the importance of finishing their homework

• Be aware of their increase in risk-taking behavior.

• Although they may spend less time with the family, make family events part of the routine so that you can spend time with you.