Age: 17 Years

Developmental Milestones 

• Physical: Most males and females may have fully matured at this age. For most, this is when puberty stops. This could vary depending on the child. Boys will still be growing muscles, facial hair, or underarm hair. It’s a time for deep voices. Some children may struggle with body image issues.  Acne is common. Make sure to emphasize that staying healthy, instead of managing weight is most important. 

• Brain Development: They will become more organized and be able to handle after school activities like extracurriculars, part-time jobs, and school. Their plans for the future will become more structured. Paths at this time can differ. Some teens will handle their responsibilities well and look forward to becoming more independent. Others may feel afraid, lost, and confused. They may have a hard time juggling homework, chores, and responsibilities. Try to support your child in any way possible. 

Social-Emotional Milestone 

Their social circle can include close friendships. Most of their free time will be spent with friends or alone by themselves. Make sure to talk to them about what makes a healthy relationship.  Moods at this age are more calmer since there are fewer hormone changes, and they have better control over what they are feeling. This is also a time when they will be exposed to more hardships, such as heartbreaks or a college rejection letter. This could result in emotional turmoil for them.

 Life Skills: Dealing with Risky Behaviors

 This is a time when teens will be getting a driver’s license or beginning to take part-time jobs. Other milestones include their first serious romantic relationship or their first heartbreak. Mental health issues are more common at this age, so watch out for signs. Teens will also be thinking more seriously about their future and can be either excited or terrified, or both. It’s time to make sure that they have the tools they need to enter the real world. They will also be dealing with more adult decisions and can face more severe consequences for their actions. Even at this age, their brains are not fully developed, so they may still have a hard time controlling their desires. Some of them may act recklessly. This is why the teenage years are also a time for more risky behaviors including partaking in unprotected sex, drugs, or alcohol. Talk to your kid about the dangers of these behaviors and make sure to be present for questions. Some 18-year-olds may turn to drugs or alcohol as an unhealthy way to cope with their feelings or to fit in. Make sure that you have taken steps to let them know the consequences of underage consumption. Also, make sure they can turn to you for options and resources just in case they mess up. Make sure to be a parent, not just a friend. Set strict rules about substance use. Research has shown that clear rules may help kids stay out of trouble compared to those who don’t have these rules in place. Some tips for having the talk include setting expectations. Make sure they know what the topic of discussion will be and emphasize to them that they are not in trouble. When you do have the talk, don’t think of it as a command. Even though you set specific rules and consequences, explain to them why you’re setting up these rules. Let your kid ask questions and have an adult conversation with them. Talk to them how you would like to be spoken to. Let them talk about their concerns and feelings. And with everything, this is an ongoing conversation and shouldn’t just happen once. Have these important talks from a place of love, and don’t act like this is a battle to be won. Be supportive and calm. Make sure to also stay informed of the signs that your child may be using. Finally, make sure to be there for them even if they mess up.